The Artist and the Scientist

Late one night aboard a magnificent ocean liner, two celebrated geniuses indulged in a great debate.

In the third class bar, with tobacco at their elbows, and absolutely nobody to urge them on, they elected to discuss the battle between art and science.

"It is to science – " began the first genius, who was a scientific genius – "that we owe everything! Through science man is able to understand the universe – its history, its composition, its dynamics – and ultimately himself! Without science we are as but nothing . . ."

"Um, I don't know," said the second genius – who was an artistic genius, but hopeless at sticking up for himself. "I guess so, if you say so," (although in actuality he completely disagreed).

At that very moment the ship struck a hidden reef, the bar staff ran out of the room – and the geniuses abandoned their discussion.

The scientist immediately made for the deck – where he made a rough evaluation of the situation: calculating the time the ship would stay afloat, the likely water temperature, and the passenger to lifeboat ratio.

The night sky provided him with vital navigational data and a reasonable weather-forecast; and, after checking that he had ingested an appropriate level of carbohydrate, he abandoned ship in his patent Gentleman's Rubber Dingy (which he had wisely secreted about his person).

The artist, however, made a very different appraisal of his circumstances and, after completing a moving entry in his diary, handed his last few watercolours to a passing child – and ascended the ship's funnel.

There, he calmed the crowd with a flute recital, made great poetry and a brief speech about the lack of public arts funding.

After the event it was decided that the actions of the artist had been very stupid – and that there was no excuse for showing-off while other people were worrying about their survival. The scientist, however, became a figure of international ridicule – as his dingy got a puncture and the water was only three feet deep.

Nobody was hurt and nobody was drowned – as all walked to safety the following morning when the tide went out.