The French Fable

One sunny morning a wise old man was sitting on a hill top, in the shade of a leafy tree, when he was joined by a breathless knight in rusty armour.

"Pray rest a while," the wise old man suggested to the knight, "and share in my humble breakfast, for I can see you are weary as I from the ascent of this hill."

"I am far wearier than you," replied the knight in rusty armour, "for in this armour it is an effort to stand. To climb this hill has taken all of my strength."

"I can imagine it has," said the wise old man.

"And this armour is rusty," continued the knight, "so I cannot bend at the waist. My right leg is stiff and I can hardly move the left one at all. Can you imagine what that is like?"

"Yes," said the old man, "I can."

"And my visor is stuck," the knight complained, "so I can see very little, and can only feed on liquids or the squidgy foods that I can get through the gaps. Can you imagine what that is like?"

"Yes," the old man told him, "I can."

"Have you ever tried to catch your breath in a suit of armour?" gasped the knight. "It is impossible! I can hardly breathe! And, though I am as strong as any man, this dreadful armour hinders my every move! Can you imagine what that is like?"

"Of course I bloody can!" replied the wise old man. "I can imagine it very well . . . For I am old and my lungs wheeze like dusty bellows; I cannot stand without effort, my back is stiff and my legs are nothing but trouble; my vision is poor and I, too, am restricted to liquids and squidgy foods. Yet I, too, feel strong and vigourous inside. It is almost as if your armour . . . as if your armour were a metaphor for old age."

"Why, so it is!" remarked the knight – who was slow on the uptake but quick to change his mind. "You are quite a wise old man, and I realise now that there is very little difference between us."

"Au contraire," insisted the wise old man – who was French – "there is a very great difference between us: for I am fated to live in this old body, but you have chosen your armour and could discard it at any moment."

Astonished by this suggestion – for he was very stupid – the knight cast off his armour, and emerged from it unhindered and unrestrained.

"There," said the wise old man, "there is the difference between us."

"My!" remarked the knight. "That's incredible."

But before he could reflect further upon this revelation, and thank the wise old man for his advice, the naked knight was slain by an arrow. For he was on the run, and wanted dead or alive.

Unscathed, the wise old man, who was not wanted at all, ambled away into the woods, where he was unexpectedly kidnapped, by aliens, who granted him eternal youth in exchange for all human wisdom.

Moral: Before removing your armour, please try to remember why you put it on in the first place.